Settle Down
by Cucumber
Summary: Takes place right after the episode Confidence Man. An OC tries to make herself useful to Sayid, Kate, and Sawyer.
1. Part 1

(Note: Lost does not belong to me, yadda yadda yadda.)

Kate watched the tide roll in and out and deliberately ignored Sayid's retreating figure. She did not want to think about what kind of danger he was placing himself him. She had to try not to worry about him—there was enough for her to worry about right here on the beach. At the moment, she had to go check on Sawyer's bandages. Jack had told her that the stitching might not be enough to keep the wound sealed; she had to check the bandages every few hours to make sure they weren't getting blood-soaked, and if they were she had to wash them out and rebandage the wound as quickly as possible. The wound needed to be kept clean and dry.

"Sawyer?" Kate said as she approached his makeshift shelter, not wanting to surprise him or wake him if he'd gone back to sleep.

"What?" Sawyer growled, his head turned away from her. "What the hell do you want now?"

"I need to check your dressing. Jack said—"

"'Jack said,' " Sawyer echoed mockingly.

"Jack said that they had to be checked to make sure you didn't get gangrene or anything. There aren't a lot of antibiotics. You don't want to lose the arm," Kate mustered on.

Sawyer now turned his head to look at his right bicep. He shifted it slightly to get a better look at the bandaging. It appeared to be clean. "It's fine," he said. "Now, why don't you go and chop some wood for the fire since it looks like I'm not going to be doing it any time soon."

"That's a good idea. I'll go do that." Kate paused. "Sawyer, about that kiss—"

Now she'd gotten his full attention. "Yeah, Freckles, let's talk about that kiss," he said, his mouth twisting into a smirk.

"You're a great kisser," Kate said.

Sawyer raised his eyebrows in an expression that said both that he wasn't surprised to hear such a thing, and that he was slightly surprised to hear Kate admitting it.

"I've been thinking a lot about you and Jack, comparing the two of you. It's funny—I admire Jack, his dedication, his hard work, his goodness. But look at where we are. You and me, Sawyer, we're on the beach and he's inland. In some ways I like the way you think—you've got hope. And for now at least, I need that hope that we're going to be rescued soon. Jack has essentially given up. I won't give up. Not yet. Now, this doesn't mean that I've chosen you over Jack, it just means that maybe I don't think you're as despicable as I thought you were or how much . . . you think you are." Before Sawyer could reply, Kate added, "I'm going to chop that wood now."

She got up and walked away. She glanced in the direction where Sayid had gone, but she couldn't see him anymore.


	2. Part 2

"Sayid?" a female voice from behind him said.

"Kate, I've made up my mind, so—" Sayid broke off when he turned around and saw that it wasn't Kate who had spoken. It was a young woman that he only barely recognized. "Who are you?"

"I'm Madison. Maddy. I—I want to come with you," the young woman.

Sayid gave Maddy the once over. She was wearing long cargo pants, hiking boots, a cargo vest over a t-shirt and had a backpack slung over her shoulders. She certainly was dressed right, but that didn't mean she could come with him.

"No. Go back to the camp," Sayid said.

"Please, Sayid, please. I can't go back to the camp. It frightens me and I'm useless there. You're the only person I trust," Maddy said.

"You trust me? Why? You don't know me. Have we ever spoken?" Sayid said. He was mystified by this girl.

Maddy dropped her eyes, embarrassed by what she was about to say. "I've seen you. I've heard the things you've said. I don't think I've spoken to anyone since the crash and nobody has befriended me. I've heard what everyone else said and I'm frightened of the way they're thinking. They're not being sensible. Their thinking only goes as far as their next meal. You're the only person with a longer perspective. I can't stay with them. Please, let me come with you."

"No. Go back. Talk to Kate. She's level-headed. You are not being clear about what you're afraid of, but whatever it is, I'm sure she will protect you."

"Please," Maddy said, beginning to get desperate. "I'll do anything." She dropped to her knees in front of Sayid and reached for him. "Please."

Sayid stared at Maddy. "Get up and go back to the camp," he said in a hard voice.

"You don't understand!" Maddy yelled. "I used to be Shannon! I could still be Shannon! I'm not afraid of them, I'm afraid of me! If I stay with them, I will become like her again, spoiled and lazy. I need to go with you. I could be useful to you."

"Why couldn't you be useful in the camp? There is always work that needs to be done," Sayid said.

Maddy shook her head. "I'm not fit to do the physical labor that the men are. I can't haul water or chop wood. So what would you have me do, laundry? It's not that I'm too good for it, but it would break my spirit. I need to figure out who I am and doing laundry would not help."

"That's selfish," Sayid said. "We're stranded on a deserted island, not in a Buddhist retreat. You need to put your feelings aside. If laundry is what is needed to be done, you should be willing to pitch in and help. Maybe you do need some humbling before you can find your true self."

Maddy's eyes widened. "You don't know anything about me. Humbling. What do you know about being humble?"

"Maybe nothing. But you sound more like Shannon than perhaps you realize."

"Don't say that!" Maddy launched herself at Sayid intending to punch him, but he easily caught her wrists.

"You are behaving like a child," he said coldly. "Things are not going your way so you are having a temper tantrum. Go back and do laundry."

"No, if you don't let me come with you, I'll probably just stay here. Wander around by myself. Sort of like what you're doing," Maddy said.

"You can't take of yourself," Sayid said, caring despite himself. He didn't want her to do anything foolish.

"I was a Girl Scout. I can do it," she insisted.

Maddy didn't get up only sat back on her heels. She reached into one of the pockets in her vest, pulled something out, and held it up so Sayid could see it, but didn't give it to him. "This is the only other thing I have to offer. And if you refuse this, then maybe I was wrong in my assessment of you."

In Maddy's hand was a compass. Sayid stared at it. She was right—a compass would be extremely useful. But he couldn't allow her to come with him. He didn't want to have to look after her, and besides, he wanted the time to be alone and think—the very thing that he decried as selfish in Maddy. But it was different for him. He'd tortured someone; he couldn't imagine that was something Maddy had ever done.

Maybe he could get her to part with the compass and not come with him.

"Where did you find that?" he asked.

"It's mine," Maddy said. "I didn't find it anywhere. I always take a compass with me when I travel. Not that I ever needed it before. I mean, when I was in Sydney I had no trouble getting around. It's not like I was in the bush or anything. But I've carried it with me for years. It's like I was planning for this happening some day. And I'm not parting with it. Where it goes, I go."

Sayid looked down at Maddy, his lips tightening. He wanted that compass and it didn't look like he'd be able to persuade her to part with it—she was clearly being irrational about, well, everything. He didn't understand why she was frightened of the camp, but he did understand that this was a talisman for her.

It was funny, he noted, how she was dressed and ready for a trek, but she'd left her long blond hair loose instead of tying it up in a practical manner. It flew around her face in the breeze, making her seem even younger than he thought she was, making her seem vulnerable. She must have done that deliberately, Sayid thought, to arouse my sympathy. Maddy was clearly smart and calculating. She didn't seem shy or frightened. Suddenly he was suspicious of her.

But he still wanted the compass.

"All right, you can come with me," Sayid started.

A huge, relieved grin spread over Maddy's face. "Thank you," she said.

"Don't thank me yet. I have a test for you. I want you to go back to the beach and talk to Kate about your fears, then turn around and find me. I will keep on walking. If you can find me and relay to me what Kate said—and I believe me, I will know if what you are saying is real or made up—then you can come with me. If you cannot find me within two days, you must turn around and go back to the beach. Do we have a deal?" Sayid said.

He figured this would play out one of three ways—one, Kate would convince Maddy to stay on the beach, and while he wouldn't have the compass, he wouldn't have this girl with him either; two, she would look for him but would not be able to find him, which would have the same effect; or three, she would find him, and it would prove that at least she had some ability to take care of herself, and he would have the compass.

Maddy put the compass back in her pocket. Now her mouth was beginning to set into a hard line. "What's to stop me from simply following you?"

Sayid laughed. This was a poor strategy on her part, telling him that. "You have to sleep sometime. I will slip away from you in the night and you will not find me. You do not want to try to trick me. If you want to come with me you must earn my respect. So far you have done nothing to accomplish that."

Maddy stared out into the jungle for a moment, then stood up. "Yes, I understand that now. All right, I'll turn back now. But I will see you again in a few days. Count on it. Shake?"

She held out her hand, and Sayid took it. He noted that she had a firm handshake. It proved nothing, but did point to Maddy's having a reserve of strength.

"Good luck," Sayid said.

"You too," Maddy said, her smile returning and this time it was impish. "I'll see you later."

She turned and headed back in the direction of the beach. Sayid watched her with a furrowed brow. He didn't know quite what to think of Maddy, and he didn't know if she would return. He also was beginning to be confused as to whether he wanted her to return or not.


	3. Part 3

Maddy watched herself in the mirror as she put on her lipstick. It was like it was another girl was doing it. It wasn't her mouth, her hand. Who had she become? Why had she allowed this to happen? When had it happened?

"Maddy, Shelly is here!" her mother called from downstairs.

"I'm coming!" Maddy called back. She ran her fingers one last time through her hair, and went downstairs.

"When will you be home?" her mother asked, standing by the front door.

"I don't know, Mom. You know, I'm in college now. You don't have to worry," Maddy said. "Don't wait up. And anyway, I'll be with Shelly and Ryan and T.J. and Carolyn."

"All right. Just remember, I'd rather you spend the night there on the couch than drive back if you've all been drinking," Maddy's mother said. She sighed. "Of course you shouldn't be drinking since you're underage, but you're a good girl and I can trust you, right?"

"Yes, Mom. You know you can trust me," Maddy said.

"I know I can. I wouldn't let you go if I didn't."

"Gee, thanks, Mom," Maddy said sarcastically and went out the door to the sound of her friend's honking, her mother watching her until she got into the car.

Shelly and her boyfriend T.J. were sitting in the front of the car. Ryan, Maddy's boyfriend was in the back. Maddy got in beside him and he kissed her lightly on the cheek. Maddy smiled but something inside of her recoiled from his touch.


	4. Part 4

She arrived back at the beach before she knew it. Really, she hadn't been walking, but stumbling, her eyes blurred with tears. Up ahead was the bonfire blazing away. Behind it were Kate and Sawyer, talking. Scattered around were a few other people, but it was amazing how when Jack suggested they move inland, just about everybody followed him.

Maddy was nervous about talking to Kate but she knew the longer she procrastinated and the more time that passed, the farther Sayid would get from the beach and the likelihood that she would catch up to him would decrease. But she didn't want to just barge in on Kate and Sawyer so she stood a few feet away from the shelter, listening to their conversation, making sure that she wasn't interrupting anything private.

Sawyer was breathing hard.

"Here are some painkillers that Jack left. It isn't much. Do you have more that you've hidden away? I can go get it if you tell me where it is," Kate said, holding out a couple of pills

"No," Sawyer said. "That stuff stays put. I'm okay. It doesn't really hurt."

"You're very pale," Kate said. She held out her hand. "Squeeze my hand. It'll take your mind off . . . things."

For a moment Sawyer didn't do anything, but then something inside him relented. He took her hand and gripped it, tighter as the wound throbbed. Breathing raggedly, he muttered, "Thanks."

That's when Maddy pretty much burst into the shelter. "Hi, guys. Sayid told me to talk to you, Kate, but I guess since you're kind of busy here, I guess I can talk to the both of you, if you don't mind," she babbled.

Sawyer stared at Maddy. "Who in tarnation are you?"

"Your name is Madison, right?" Kate said.

Now it was Maddy's turn to stare. "How did you know that?"

"When we first crashed, Jack and I went around checking on all the people who were unconscious. We went through your pockets and found your passport," Kate said.

Maddy wanted to yell, You did what? But she made herself stay calm. Though before she could say anything more, Kate added, "When did you talk to Sayid?"

"Just now," Maddy said. She quickly told Kate and Sawyer what happened, and about the compass, and what Sayid said were the conditions of her going with him.

"We've been here for two weeks," Kate said when Maddy finished her recitation. "How come you never spoke to anybody?"

"I was confused," Maddy said.

"If you'd rather go off into the jungle with that towelhead that stay here with your fellow Americans, then I'd say that you're still confused," Sawyer commented, looking interested despite himself.

"You said you were afraid to stay with either camp—on the beach or inland. Why?" Kate asked.

Now Maddy covered her face with her hands. "Rape. Men outnumber women two to one. I've seen the way some of the men look at me. I saw what Jack and Sayid did to Sawyer. I've read _Lord of the Flies_. There will be anarchy here soon enough because Jack is not a strong leader. And I don't want to be caught in the middle of it."

Sawyer let out a whoop of laughter. "So you're saying that Sayid isn't a real man, since you feel safe with him. And that Jack isn't a real man either because he's not strong. Now those are assessments I can go along with."

Kate gave Sawyer a hard look. "Sayid is a man, and just a man, not a superhuman being. I'm not trying to say he'd ever do anything like that, but . . . I mean, we don't know each other very well, and you're making assumptions about who would do what."

"Maybe I am," Maddy admitted. "But Sayid could never rape me. I offered myself to him willingly."

Kate let go of Sawyer and put her hands on Maddy's shoulders, looking her right in the eye. "How old are you, Madison?"

"Maddy," Maddy said. "I'm twenty. Well, I'm going to be twenty in a few months."

"Do you understand what you're doing, Maddy?" Kate asked. "You're trading your body for what you think is security."

"I'm not a virgin," Maddy said, lifting her chin. "I know what I'm doing. Besides, I know Sayid doesn't want me."

Sawyer's eyes swept over Maddy's body. "Just give him a few days and he won't be able to help himself, munchkin," he said.

Kate half-turned to look at Sawyer. "You're determined to find a way to insult Sayid no matter what Maddy says."

Sawyer nodded. "Yep. That just about sums it up right."

"It's okay if he changes his mind. Like I said, you can't rape the willing. I'll do anything as long as he lets me stay with him."

"Anything?" Sawyer raised an eyebrow. "Kate, scram, I have a munchkin to protect."

Maddy looked at Sawyer. "Sayid said that Kate would protect me. But I didn't tell him what I was afraid of. You can't protect me, Sawyer, because I don't trust you to. You're out for yourself and no one else and nothing I could do for you would change that."

"She's got you pegged, Sawyer," Kate said. "But, Maddy, as much as I understand your fear, I don't know if going with Sayid is a good idea. He has his own demons to wrestle with. Give him the compass and come back here. I can't promise that it will be all right, but you can trust me that I'll try."

"I think that's what Sayid was counting on you to say," Maddy said.

Kate gave a little smile.

"But what benefit could I serve on the beach or inland? I'm useless to you," Maddy said. "Just another mouth to feed."

"You could take a shift at night to feed the fire," Kate suggested.

Suddenly a cloud passed over Maddy's apparent confidence in her scheme. "The fire," she nearly whispered. "What if a rescue plane came and Sayid and I were out in the jungle. Nobody would ever find us."

"Good reason to stay here, don't you think?" Kate said.

"No, no," Maddy said, as though trying to convince herself. "I'd just end up doing laundry."

"Well, you did say you'd do anything," Sawyer said. "Should have specified regarding what."

"I was just giving an example," Maddy grumbled. "Let me really explain to you what I see."

She then proceeded to give a detailed account of all forty-eight people on the island, who they were, where they were, what they were doing, what they were thinking. She even tried to predict how they would begin to act once they thought that they were truly stuck on the island.

When Maddy was done, Sawyer and Kate were speechless. Neither one of them could believe what Maddy had seen, had understood. And she hadn't left out either of them. It was almost like she knew them as well as they knew themselves. And it wasn't always a flattering picture. Of course, Maddy wasn't trying to butter them up; she was trying to paint as bleak a picture as possible. But that didn't mean that she was wrong or unconvincing.

"Whew," Sawyer said finally. "Did I call her a munchkin before? Should have said Mata Hari." He paused, then, "Maddy, honestly, I don't care if you want to follow the wacky Iraqi or stay here and keep us all company, but you'd make a terrific spy."

"Sawyer, no," Kate said. "All that would do is sow suspicion between the camps. She can't."

"And how would they ever know?" Sawyer asked innocently. "Besides, it's not like we'd use the knowledge for nefarious purposes. How could it hurt to keep informed?"

Kate was torn. There was a certain logic to what Sawyer said, and she did detect a bit of interest in Maddy's eyes, but it didn't seem right. If they wanted to know what was going on inland, they ought to just ask. But somehow Maddy's safety seemed foremost. If she got the girl to stay on the beach, she could somehow make the whole spying thing go away.

"Well, I guess it couldn't," Kate forced out. "Maddy, what do you think? It could even be fun."

"And come to think of it, there is something else you could do for me besides laundry," Sawyer said.

"What's that?" Maddy asked almost fearfully.

"You could read to me my book. It hurts like hell when I raise my arm and it's awfully hard to turn the pages with your teeth," Sawyer said.

Maddy looked over at the book lying at Sawyer's side. "_Watership Down_ is one of my favorite books," she said quietly.

"You really enjoy reading, don't you, Maddy?" Kate said. "I bet you miss it."

Maddy nodded.

Neither Sawyer nor Kate said anything more. They wanted to give her a moment to think about her options. She'd be better off coming to the decision on her own that she wanted to stay on the beach rather than feeling like they'd bullied her into it.

"I've got to go," Maddy said abruptly, standing up. "Don't try to stop me."

"Maddy, wait," Kate said.

"No! Don't follow me! Stay away from me!" Maddy yelled and started running.

Kate stopped in her tracks. "I'm worried about her, Sawyer," she said.

"She'll be back," he said, nonchalantly putting his uninjured arm behind his head.

"How can you be sure?" Kate said.

"Trust me. Like some people read books, I read women."

"I wish I could be so confident."


	5. Part 5

As Maddy retraced her steps from that morning, her mind was whirling with Kate and Sawyer's arguments. She didn't know what she wanted anymore or even remember why. She still admired Sayid, definitely. No matter how much Sawyer put down Sayid, she saw the real truth about him. He had a brain, he had confidence, he had a plan, he had self control. She could learn a lot from him.

But Kate and Sawyer. It was funny how a person's perspective changed when you were inside a situation instead of on the outside looking in. They weren't as smart as Sayid, but there was something trustworthy about them; even Sawyer had proven something to her.

Maddy didn't know what to do.

It took her hours, but she finally caught up with Sayid. He was roasting some animal (she didn't want to think what) over a small campfire.

"Hi," she said. "I'm back."

Sayid looked up. He didn't act startled, even though she could tell from his eyes that he was. This only increased how much she was impressed with him.

"I can see that," Sayid said. "Well, sit down. I think there will be enough meat for the both of us."

"Thank you," Maddy said.

They didn't speak while the animal was cooking, nor while they were eating it. Only after the bones were buried and wood collected to keep the fire burning all night did they sit down for a talk.

"What did Kate say?" Sayid asked without preamble.

Maddy hesitated, then said, "She said she would protect me. She said I shouldn't go with you. She's worried about you but thinks you'll probably be all right."

Sayid nodded. That did sound like Kate. And she had found him after all this time. A deal was a deal. "All right," he said. "You can come with me. But you cannot make yourself a burden. If you are suffering, you must do it in silence. I will not carry you emotionally or physically. Now give me the compass."

Maddy handed it to him wordlessly.

"Good. Now, here is the plan. We'll stay here tonight, taking turns stoking the fire. Tomorrow morning we will move out before dawn so we can get as much walking done before it gets too hot. Is that acceptable?"

Maddy looked at Sayid and tears welled up in her eyes. He was going to let her do this. He was incredible. And she was intruding. What right did she have?

She took a deep breath. "I changed my mind," she said. "I'm not going with you."

Feeling an odd stab of disappointment, Sayid asked, gentlemanly, "Must I give you your compass back?"

"No, you keep it. You need it more than I do. It's not hard to find dirty laundry. Just follow the smell," Maddy said.

Sayid laughed. "You're really doing to help do the camp's laundry?"

"Of course not," Maddy said, laughing with him.

"Fine. You will stay here tonight. It's too dangerous to try to make your way back in the dark. You will take the first watch. Wake me at midnight," Sayid said. He tucked himself into a blanket without saying another word.

They traded places at midnight. Sayid watched Maddy as she slept.

Sayid woke Maddy early. They ate some fruit and packed up the camp making sure that the fire was completely dead and no embers were left burning.

"So," Sayid said.

"So," Maddy echoed. "I guess this is the end of the line for me."

"Yes."

"Okay, then, I'll be seeing you. Good luck, Sayid. Oh, by the way, if you lose my compass, I'll kill you myself," Maddy said.

"I'll remember that," Sayid said.

There seemed to be no reason for them to keep standing there, but Sayid seemed unwilling to walk away just yet.

"Good luck to you, Maddy—Madison. You've done an amazing thing here. You should proud of yourself," he said finally. "Thank you."

Maddy smiled at Sayid and then they both knew it was time to go.


	6. Part 6

The party was at a frat house. Naturally there was drinking. Maddy was quiet the whole time in the car, just listening to her friends chatter away and slapping Ryan's hand every time he put it just a little too far up her leg. But once she got to the party and got a few good drinks in her, everything changed. It was easier for her to chatter about nonsense than to think about the book she was currently engrossed with—_Of Human Bondage_. It was a brilliant book but she couldn't imagine that anyone at the party would be interested in hearing about it. Certainly none of her friends. Maybe if she found a literature major. Conversation, however, was not the point of the party. Drinking and dancing and hooking up were. The music was too loud to have a conversation without shouting, so people didn't bother.

Maddy danced with Ryan most of the time though sometimes she danced with other guys and even girls. It was just good, clean, boozy fun. Nobody was getting hurt. It's not like this was some kind of insane hazing party.

Ryan went over to Maddy and said to her: "Let's go upstairs." The unspoken end to that sentence was "to make out," and Maddy knew it.

"Sure," she said easily. Honestly, she was tired of the party and was getting a headache. She figured she'd let Ryan feel her up a little and then she could get him to round up the gang and go home.

They had to traipse up three flights of stairs before they found a room that wasn't occupied or locked. They stumbled as they went and Maddy suspected that Ryan was a lot drunken than she was.

Once they were lying on the bed, Ryan got aggressive, kissing her, pushing her shirt up, trying to unhook her bra, putting a hand up her skirt. That when Maddy knew that he wasn't going to be satisfied with a make-out session and she resigned herself to sex. They'd slept together a few times before and she knew what it would be like and she reminded herself that it would probably be over pretty quickly. The last thing she wanted to do was argue about this. She was just too tired. And besides, Ryan was a good boyfriend. No reason not to keep him happy.

"Condoms," Maddy whispered in Ryan's ear.

"Huh?" he said rather stupidly.

"Do you have a condom?" Maddy enunciated each word. She may have been tired, but she wasn't stupid.

Ryan felt around his pockets and took out his wallet, but he didn't have a condom.

"Oh, well, I guess we ought to get going, then," Maddy said, maybe a little too cheerfully.

"No way," Ryan said, sounding cheated. "There's other stuff we can do."

Maddy knew what Ryan was referring. They had never done that before and now didn't seem like the time to start.

"No, I don't want to," Maddy said and tried to sit up, tried to push Ryan off her, but he purposely kept her pinned. "Ryan, please, get off me," she said.

For a moment she thought he was going to, but then he said, "What's wrong with you? You're like an ice queen. It's always no, no, no. Even in the car, and I wasn't really doing anything. What are you, a lesbian or something? Well, I'm sick of it."

Before Maddy could argue, Ryan became even more aggressive than before—violent, really. He pushed up her skirt, ripped her underwear, then unzipped his jeans and pushed them down.

"No! Ryan, don't!" Maddy screamed. But nobody heard her. Nobody came running.

He thrust into her and she screamed again.

Ryan collapsed on top of her.

That was fast, even for him, she thought vaguely. Then: I was just raped.

My boyfriend raped me.

My ex-boyfriend now, she thought.

Maddy looked at Ryan. He wasn't lying there with a satisfied look on his face, he was passed out. Maddy easily pushed him off her.

She got up off the bed, threw her ripped underwear in a small trash can and smoothed down her skirt.

I've got to tell someone, she thought. Then: nobody will believe me.

Then a wave of dizziness washed over Maddy. She slid down to the floor leaning against a wall. She started sobbing.

What am I doing? What have I become? she wondered. What sort of life is this?

Well, I can't do it anymore. The semester is over in a few weeks. After finals I've got to get out of here. Go as far away from this place as possible. By myself. And maybe never come back.


	7. Part 7

A few hours later, Maddy made it back to the beach camp. Kate was chopping wood. Angrily, it seemed to Maddy.

"Hi," Maddy said.

Kate put down the ax and wiped her brow. "Welcome back. Are you all right? Have you worked everything out for yourself?"

"Um," Maddy said. "I don't know about that. But I decided that the best thing to do would be to lend Sayid my compass and not go with him. I'm not sure I'm happy about it. We'll have to see. Is everything all right here?"

Kate was about to open her mouth to say: No, everything is not all right here. I helped Sawyer get into clean clothes. I got his food and helped him eat. I sat with him when the pain got really bad, and it didn't stop him from coming on to me. I can't handle that right now, so I'm taking out my frustrations on this poor, innocent, log.

Instead, she said, "No, everything's fine. I think Sawyer might use some company, though."

Maddy nodded. "I can read to him his book," she said, and headed for Sawyer's tent.

Kate went back to her chopping and was even more upset at sending that poor kid into Sawyer's clutches. Who knows what he'd say to her. But she decided that she needed time to think, time away from him. She'd bring him his meals, and visit from time to time to check his bandages, but that was it.

"Sawyer?" Maddy said.

His eyes were closed and he looked like he might be sleeping. But he answered. "As much as I'd love to get up and chat about your adventures, munchkin, I think I'm going to take a little nap instead."

"Okay, I'll go and . . . do something," Maddy said.

"No!" Sawyer said. Then, more calmly: "No, it's okay. You can stay if you like. This here's Gilligan's Grand Hotel compared to the rest of the place."

"Oh!" Maddy said. Then she starting laughing. And laughing. She fell down on the floor and slapped at it, the laughter wracking her body, tears streaming out of her eyes. She laughed and laughed.

When she finally trailed away into giggles, she lay on the floor with her arms and legs relaxed like she'd just finished a strenuous yoga class.

"Oh, my God," she said. "Gilligan's Grand Hotel."

"Munchkin, at first I thought you were having a seizure there," Sawyer said.

Maddy sat up and crossed her legs Indian style. "I need that," she said. "I can't believe nobody once compared us to _Gilligan's Island_. Let's see. Jack is the Skipper. Kate is Mary Anne. Shannon is Ginger. Sayid is the Professor. That Korean couple are the Howells. But who's Gilligan?"

Sawyer frowned. "How old are you again? Twelve?"

Maddy ignored him. She hummed the intro bars to the _Gilligan's Island_ theme song then started: "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. That started on this tropic shore aboard this tiny ship—"

"Enough!" Sawyer bellowed. "If you're going to keep being like this I'm going to have to start calling you Little Mary Sunshine. Or Pollyanna."

Maddy stopped singing. "I'm going to let your insults go because I know you're in pain and you're upset and you don't mean what you're saying. I'm going to go down to the beach and sing a while by myself. Then I'm going up to the inland camp and do a little looking around. I remember what you said before and I think I just might have a future in that department. Next time you'll call me Ms. Hari." Maddy paused. "Do you think people really called her that or was that her code name? Whatever. After that I'll bring back some lunch and then I'll read to you from the book. How does that sound?"

"Organized," Sawyer said. "What are you, some kind of efficiency expert?"

"No, but I did read _Cheaper by the Dozen_ a zillion times when I was a kid. Did you read it?"

"No. I think I liked you better scared and confused."

Maddy's face fell. "I will be again soon, I'm sure. And will you be here to comfort me?"

"Sure, munchkin," Sawyer said and mustered up half a smile. But it ended in a wince.

Maddy nodded then took her leave, doing exactly what she had told Sawyer she was planning on doing.

And thus went the week. Maddy kept to a fairly rigid schedule of taking care of Sawyer which kept Kate away from him, for which Kate was grateful, but could never admit.

There were times that the pain got so bad that Maddy had to work desperately to distract him from it, even if it meant antagonizing him. And then there were the nights that Maddy couldn't sleep because she was petrified of what was going to happen, her anxious mind running on overdrive. Those nights Maddy crept into Sawyer's shelter without waking him, his physical presence and the sound of his breathing were enough to calm her nerves.

Day by day Maddy and Sawyer got more comfortable with each other, more friendly. And each day Maddy took to wearing less and less clothing. By the end of the week she was down to a bikini and a basically see-through wrap. Though she always put on jeans and a t-shirt when she left Sawyer's tent.

One morning Sawyer said to Maddy, "I'd like to get up and take a walk around. I feel like I've been cooped up in here like a chicken being fattened for the kill."

"Are you sure you're up to it?" Maddy asked, worried. "Maybe I should get Jack down here, have him look at the wound, see how it's healing."

"No doctor," Sawyer said. He leaned forward in his seat and put his hand on Maddy's thigh to stop her from standing up. "I know how I feel. That's good enough."

Maddy looked down at Sawyer's hand on her leg which he still hadn't removed. Then Sawyer looked at it, almost as though he hadn't realized what he was doing. They both stared at it and then at each, both wondering the same thing: what does this mean? What do I want? What should we do? What should I say without making a fool of myself?

"Really?" Maddy said, eventually.

"Why not?" Sawyer said casually.

"What about Kate?"

"Kate is my Sayid. You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do," Sawyer said and Maddy shuddered, remembering her last night with Ryan.

Sawyer assumed the shudder was in response to him and he quickly pulled his hand away, and added, "Not Kate, not you, not anybody."

"Oh, no, I know. No, I didn't think you would. I just was—whatever, not important. I think we should talk about this before we do anything."

"Sure, munchkin, I understand that women need to talk about their feelings first."

Maddy rolled her eyes. "How many condoms do you have?" she said.

"Or not," Sawyer grinned. "I'd say about a hundred."

Now Maddy's eyes widened. "Wow. Well, I'm not going to ask where they came from. Now, let's do the math. If we had sex once a week, a hundred condoms would last two years. And after that, nothing, because I can't have a baby. I'm not ready yet. Maybe in two years I will be, but from this perspective, no way. Though other women will have to be willing to have babies. We can't have Claire's baby growing up all alone. Assuming that it lives. That's another problem. With no medicine, we're in trouble. Childbirth will be painful and dangerous. These things have to be worked out," she said.

"You've sitting been sitting out in the sun so much that your brain is starting to fry. I thought you were sure we'd be rescued sometime soon. Now you've got us setting up house for two years or more," Sawyer said.

"I can't help it. I think a lot," Maddy said.

"We've got to get your mind off this morbid stuff. A drink might help." Sawyer paused. "That gives me an idea. I can bang together some kind of still. You can make booze out of just about anything."

"That's a bad idea," Maddy said. "I'm not going to drink." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You wanted to go for a walk. Why don't we do that and forget we had this conversation?"

In a flash, Sawyer leaned forward and kissed Maddy tenderly on the mouth. Then he pulled away and whispered, "I can't think about that now. If you don't want to use up any condoms, there are other things we can do instead."

That was also a bit too reminscent of Ryan. She had worked so hard to get what happened out her system. She had tried so hard to get the party girl she'd become out of her system. And now here was another man asking her to be that way again. He wanted to get her drunk and have sex with her. Well, she wouldn't do it.

"I've never done that," she said truthfully, adding, "I'm not about to start now."

Sawyer immediately sat back, away from Maddy. "Okay, munchkin. I guess a walk'll have to do."

"Okay? That's it? You're not going to try to seduce me?" Maddy asked, surprised. Maybe Sawyer was some kind of gentleman.

"Only if you want me to. Remember what I said before—I don't force women into anything," Sawyer said and grinned like he was a shark and Maddy was a little fish. "Hmm, looks like the confused munchkin is back. I told you I liked it."

Now Maddy was really confused. She had grown attracted to Sawyer and she even vaguely respected him, but she didn't know if doing this would be something she would regret later. And what about Kate? Sawyer loved Kate, she was sure of it, the same way that she loved Sayid. This was a temporary arrangement, then. Though, she imagined, things could change. It's not like either was going off to war and we promised to be faithful to them while they're gone. If Kate wanted Sawyer, then she should make up her mind about him already insteading of dangling herself like bait only to pull away at the last minute.

"Hold me," Maddy said. It wasn't an answer, but a start.

Sawyer pulled Maddy into a hug. It was mostly one armed because his wounded bicep still ached a bit, but he pressed Maddy against his chest and rested his head on top hers. He stroked her arm lightly. It was nearly platonic, just two people so lonely and scared and far away from home making sure that they were still alive and breathing.

And that's what Maddy did—she listened to Sawyer's heartbeat, and the breath going in and out of his lungs. She barely felt her arm being stroked. Sawyer was a real person. And so was she.

"No," she whispered. "No, I don't want to."

Sawyer accepted Maddy's rejection gracefully. Instead they took a walk over to where Kate was stoking the bonfire.

"Maddy, it's almost noon. Why don't you see if you can scare us up some lunch?" Sawyer said.

"Sure," Maddy said, and off she went. She wondered if Sawyer would tell Kate what had just happened between the two of them. If he were a gentleman he wouldn't kiss and tell. She hoped he really was.

At the inland camp Maddy walked easily among the people, all of whom basically ignored her. She'd spoken to Jack a couple of times when he'd come to check on Sawyer. She'd spoken to Michael way back when he was helping Jack to arrange this inland camp. She'd spoken to Hurley when he just came up to her out of the blue one day and asked her where she was from. She answered politely but not particularly openly. Hurley had gotten the hint and quickly bowed out of the conversation. She was sure none of those three men would remember her that distinctly.

The one person who might recognize her was Locke. She could tell that he keenly observed everything and everybody—better than her even. Whenver she came up to get supper, she always made sure to be at the end of the line so she could have a legitimate excuse to listen to what people were saying. She was sure Locke had noticed that too.

There was one particular topic that seemed to be a major one under discussion that Maddy could hear, and she didn't like it one bit. It seemed that even though everyone found out that Sawyer didn't have Shannon's asthma medications at all, they were angry over what they perceived at his hoarding of things that might be idenitifiable as belonging to people who survived the crash. But more than that, people didn't like the idea that some people had more "stuff" than others whether because it was legitimately theirs or because they'd scavenged it. People were saying they wanted everyone to give up their stuff so it could all be parcelled out fairly.

There were other things they were saying, peripherally, that Maddy also didn't like. Like that they thought that there had to be some kind of ruling council to make decisions and to set schedules and assign tasks, and to start building more permanent structures.

Maddy numbly stood in line for food. While it seemed like a logical thing to do to regimentize their lives, Maddy thought that a ruling council meant playing politics, playing favorites, playing one person against another. And that was dangerous.

And worst of all was this divvying up idea. Nobody was going to take her stuff. Nobody


	8. Part 8

_Of Human Bondage_ was the story of a young man who left his home, left everything, to pursue his dreams and that's what Maddy was determined to do.

"You're going where?" her parents asked her at the dinner table one night after she announced her plans.

"Sydney, Australia," Maddy amplified. Previously she'd only said "Australia."

"By yourself?" her father asked.

"Yes."

"For how long?" her mother asked.

"I'm not sure. I think I'll be back for next semester, but I'm not sure."

"You are not dropping out of college to become some kind of Australian beach bum, young lady," her father said.

"No, I'm not, Daddy. This is just something I have to do."

Maddy hadn't told anybody what had happened with Ryan.

After she'd pulled herself together, she went downstairs and got a ride from a guy she knew from a class they had together. The next day she called Ryan and told him to meet her in a local coffee shop because they had to talk. She told him that she was breaking up with him.

"Why?" he'd said. "Because I didn't want to listen to you yammer on and on about that book with the club-foot guy?"

"You don't remember what happened last night?" Maddy has asked, thinking that maybe last night had been a blessing in disguise. Ryan was such a jerk. How come she'd never noticed it before?

"No," Ryan had said. "I drank too much. All I know is I woke up on the floor of some guy's room."

Maddy hadn't known if he was lying about not remembering raping her, but it didn't matter. She remembere and that's all that mattered. All his pleading and sweet talk wasn't going to change anything.

"Why do you have to go to Australia alone?" Maddy's mother asked. "You know we trust you, but it's so far away."

"Look, I've made up my mind. I'm going to use my babysitting money, so you don't have to worry about paying for it. I'll check in with you guys. I just need to get away," Maddy said.

Maddy's parents couldn't talk her out of it, and after finals were over, she boarded the plane for Australia with what she was wearing on her person and one bag—her knapsack. It was a fairly large bag and contained a lot of stuff, but Maddy didn't want to be burdened with more than that. She had a credit card and figured if she desperately needed anything, she'd buy it. Having just one bag gave her the freedom to go where she wanted. It was liberating to be so free.

Despite what Maddy had told her parents, she hadn't stayed in Sydney. She traveled around, and always remembered to check in with her parents. She talked to people whenever she needed help but as the weeks passed, she deliberately began keeping to herself, staying in her hotel and sitting around the pool the whole day, or bringing her book and sitting on a bench in the zoo instead of really looking at the animals, or going to coffee shops and writing down her thoughts and feelings, trying to figure out what in her head was real and what was just a defense mechanism.

It seemed to be working. Maddy slowly started to feel like herself again. The incident with Ryan (that's what she'd started calling it in her mind) started to recede and almost felt like it hadn't happened. She was going to go back to college and switch her major from psychology to literature. She would buy a new wardrobe. She would be a different person.

Maddy's plane back home was leaving from Sydney and by then she was hundreds of miles away so she took a small plane to Sydney. The flight went fine even though she was a little nervous about small planes.

Then the flight back home. Maddy didn't check her knapsack. She never did. This was something she was very diligent about—never to let the bag out of her sight. Even though the stewardess wanted her to put in the overhead compartant, she did her best to stuff it under her seat.

Maddy closed her eyes and napped.

The next thing she knew the plane was in trouble, crashing, and she was alone, but pulled out her knapsack from under the seat and held onto it like it was a teddy bear. When they'd crashed and she found that she was alive, she'd fiercely held on to her knapsack like a security blanket. It was what _kept_ her alive.


	9. Part 9

And now somebody wanted to take it from her. Maddy considered the irony that she'd intended on getting rid of all of the stuff anyhow, but there was a big difference between remaking yourself as a new person and having new personhood forced on you. More than anything, Maddy did not want anything forced on her. The biggest part of the new person that she was trying to be was the ability to make her own independent decisions. She didn't want there to be some kind of pseduo-democratic vote pushing rules down her throat. Nor did she want to be the one making the rules. She just wanted to stay on the beach with Sawyer and Kate and be left alone.

And rescued soon, naturally.

Maddy went back to the beach as calmly as she could. It wouldn't look right for her to race out of there like a bat out of hell screaming about how they were trying to take her stuff.

She brought the plates to Kate and Sawyer who were still at the bonfire. They were talking but their body language appeared stiff. Things had not gone well, Maddy imagined.

She gave them their lunches, sat down near them, and began eating her own. But she couldn't eat.

"Sawyer, Kate, there's something going on in the inland camp," she started, then proceeded to tell them what she'd heard about councils, schedules, and stuff being taken away from people.

Sawyer looked alarmed, but Kate merely said, "I'd heard something about that."

"You should have told me about that," Sawyer said. "How'd you know? From Jack?"

"Actually, yes. He's all for a council and all that organized stuff. He wants me to be part of the council but I told him that I thought that the beach should be off limits to them. And if I was part of the beach, I shouldn't be part of their council," Kate said.

Sawyer seemed rather pleased with that answer. "And what did Jack-o say to that?"

"He said they be having a vote one of these days and it would be majority rule—if the people wanted to include the beach in their rules, we'd have to go along with it."

"I'm not going along with any foolhardy thing like that," Sawyer declared. "And when were they planning on telling us this, after they'd taken the vote?"

"I'm not sure it's going to happen so soon. People are still shaken. I think they want to build permanent shelters first. The vote may be weeks away. Assuming we're still here."

Maddy listened to Kate and Sawyer talk without adding her own opinion. She was with Sawyer on this all the way and she couldn't understand why Kate was being so sanguine. Because she had an in with Jack and she knew he'd protect her?

"Doesn't matter what they decide. I won't go along with it. And this time they won't have Sayid here to do their dirty work," Sawyer said. "Whose side are you on, Kate?"

Kate picked at her food. "I'm not on anyone's side. Personally, I don't like what this council represents. More hopelessness. Those people are resigned, but I'm not!"

"You know, on _Gilligan's Island_ there wasn't any kind of council," Maddy blurted out.

Kate and Sawyer turned to stare at her. Maddy was embarrassed by this pathetic contribution. If she kept saying stuff like this then she'd be the Gilligan of this island.

"I'm sorry. I just—I don't like this. It's too serious," Maddy said, knowing she was digging herself deeper into the Gilligan hole.

"Maddy, munchkin, why don't you let the grown-ups talk about this and work things out. We can talk later," Sawyer said.

"I'm not a child," Maddy said through gritted teeth. "Let me start again. Having a ruling council is pretty civilized, but how many of them know anything about political science? About government? How do we know who would be just and fair once they got on the council? How do we know who's only doing it for the power?

"Jack needs help, I know it. I've seen working non-stop only to fall into bed at night, dead tired. But he's a reluctant leader, and someone like generally doesn't let power go to his head. Power corrupts, remember.

"But we're down on the beach away from everything. They may argue that we share their food and if we needed it, we'd share their medicine, but we're doing this service for them of keeping this bonfire lit. When we're rescued, it'll be because of us. Therefore, we deserve an exemption from anything they're planning."

Sawyer clapped. "Nice speech. If weren't down here with us, I would've said that you should be on the council."

"No way, never," Maddy said.

"The best I can do is talk to people, talk to Jack, feel people out," Kate said. "But this may have more to do with your hoarding, Sawyer, than about logic or rules. The more stubborn you are, the more insistent they'll be."

Sawyer shrugged. "Finders keepers, losers weepers."

"That's not helpful, Sawyer," Kate said.

Later that night, Maddy went to Sawyer's tent and told him about her bag and about how she couldn't give it up. He promised that he would try to prevent that from happening.

"From my own stuff too," he added flatly. He looked away from Maddy and wouldn't meet her eyes. He added, "The truth is, sometimes I think the way you think, munchkin. Days when I'm sure that this will be one when we'll be rescued. But then other times come and I'm convinced I have to plan for the future. Everything in my stash is something I will need or'll be good for bartering for something that I need. I was never a Scout, like you. I can't see myself living off the land. I'm a city boy. I don't know if I'll be able to hack it." He paused. "But you'll be fine, Maddy, I know it. You just need to keep up your confidence and you'll be fine."

Something about Sawyer's honesty and sureness about her stirred something inside Maddy. She went closer to him and whispered, "Maybe we could use up one of those condoms. They do expire, you know. They might not even last two years."

Now it was Sawyer's turn to say, "Really?"

Maddy nodded.

She and Sawyer made love slowly and tenderly. It wasn't the passion of two great loves, but of two people that needed each other. It was nothing like making love with Ryan. Maddy almost felt like she was being reborn.


	10. Part 10

Another week passed. Kate and Maddy both hung around the inland camp to find out what was going on with the plans for a ruling council. Wisely Sawyer kept out of sight on the beach so as not to rile anybody up. Also, his arm had healed enough that he was able to tend to the fire without much pain even though he still couldn't chop the wood.

The three of them gathered again by the fire when Kate found out who they were planning on putting on this so-called council. Jack as the leader, with Michael, Locke, Shannon ("Of all people," Sawyer said.), and the Korean woman.

"Turns out she speaks almost perfect English," Kate said.

"What's her name?" Maddy asked. "Her and her husband's were the only two I could never catch."

"They're Jin and Sun. She's Sun," Kate said.

"When is this supposed election gonna take place?" Sawyer asked.

"Within the next couple of days."

"Do they plan on trying to include us in it?"

"Yes."

"We've got to do something about that."

"I'll make a speech. I'll ask that we be left alone. It's our best shot. Maybe our only shot. After all, they don't know Maddy and they hate you, Sawyer."

All three of them knew that Kate was right.

The next day Kate and Maddy again went up to the inland camp. The meeting of the whole camp was convened in a large, open field. Kate and Maddy purposely did not sit together.

Jack presided over the meeting. He called on people one at a time to speak. Most people ended up saying the same things:

They thought things were getting a little unfocused.

They wanted to build permanent shelters.

They were nervous about supplies running out.

Those were all things that Maddy was pretty much expecting to hear. Then someone said something that surprised even her: People were bored.

To Maddy the complaint of being bored meant that people weren't as worried about their survival as they claimed to be. Well, once they started building shelters there'd be plenty to do, she imagined. People would have to gather up the materials to make them, help put them up, and surely there was someone with enough arts and crafts experience to make nice decorations out of plants and trees. Ikebana, maybe even, Maddy thought. Not that there are any vases, of course.

All of this seemed fairly benign, until someone said that they had to start dividing up the clothes evenly because it wouldn't be right if some people had massive wardrobes while others only had basically what they were wearing on their backs. It's not like clothes lasted forever. Also, the person continued, the same goes for toiletries and other daily necessities. And we know who has a lot of it—Sawyer.

That's when the murmuring of assent started. Nobody particularly wanted to give up their stuff but they wanted to force Sawyer to give up his. They'd seen that poor girl Shannon with her asthma attack and Sawyer not willing to give up her medicine. Okay, sure it turned out he didn't have it, but maybe he had other things.

Maddy was getting terribly nervous, but once she saw Kate stand up, she knew everything would be all right. People trusted Kate. They would listen to her.

"Everybody, I understand what you're saying and you're not wrong. If we're going to survive this, we're all going to have to pitch in and help each other. But I also think you're trying to make Sawyer into your enemy, and he's been making it easy for you. I don't know if he's been particularly nice to any of you and I do know how mean he's been. But I also know that when Jin attacked Michael, he didn't hesitate, he ran to help save Michael. He wouldn't give up the asthma medicine—because he didn't have it. That's the real truth. You all think that Sawyer has some kind of secret stash that if you only you got your hands on it, everything would be all right. But it's not true. He simply doesn't have it. What he has is his own bravado, his own belief in sort of the thing that you do—that his survival is in his own hands. But he's being naïve. He'll come around when he realizes he can't do it alone. But meanwhile I'm asking you to put Sawyer out of your minds. He's not worth your efforts. The real enemy here is the island. Put your energy into fighting that," Kate said.

Maddy could see that Kate's words were having a mixed effect on the people. Most people seemed to believe her.

"But I saw Sawyer scavenging with my own eyes," Jack said.

"You saw him in the wreckage of the plane looking around. Did you specifically see him take anything?" Kate said.

Jack hesitated and thought back. He couldn't picture Sawyer with a bag full of stuff but he was sure he had it. Well, pretty sure.

Kate took Jack's silence and ran with it. "You see, we've convicted Sawyer without a proper investigation, without any proof. And now is not the time to start a witch hunt. Now is the time to start building a tolerant community. Hopefully it won't last for too long since Sawyer and I and Maddy are keeping the bonfire lit day and night. We believe someone will rescue us soon. But in the meanwhile me must learn to live in peace."

Everyone was quiet. Even Jack knew that arguing with such an impassioned speech would be foolish. But Maddy could tell by the murmurings that had started when Kate mentioned her name that they were wondering about her. She stood up and walked over to Kate, who introduced her.

"This young lady is Maddy. She's younger than most of you and she's alone. She's frightened, but she's not giving up. She sits up every night until two in the morning tending the fire. How many of you would rather not have a single night of rest? She'd doing what you don't want to do."

Maddy blushed. It was nice to get such a compliment from Kate in front of everybody. Though she wondered how sincere it was—after all, she'd lied about Sawyer. Maddy knew that Kate knew what Sawyer had socked away and she'd lied for him. Or had she? Maybe she'd been sincere in saying that if everyone got themselves worked up over Sawyer it would be worse then letting him just keep his stuff. She was a little confused, but it was something to think about later. Now she had to do what she'd gotten up to do.

"Hi, everybody," Maddy said shyly. "I was heading home from my vacation in Australia. There are two things that I bought there that I've decided to donate to the camp."

She pulled something out of a pocket in her cargo pants, which she'd put on specifically for this. It was a bottle of soapy water for blowing bubbles. She held it up so everyone could see it.

"I know you guys are going to think that we're better off using this for soap, but there's other stuff in it and believe me, you try to wash your hair with this stuff and you'll be sorry," Maddy started. "Anyway, I bought this in Sydney and one day I sat on my balcony in my hotel room and blew bubbles and watched them float away. I'm going to leave it here so that anyone who's feeling a little down can come and blow some bubbles. You'll look up and see those beautiful trees above your heads and the clear blue sky and try to remember that you're alive and that it's simple things that can make you happy."

Maddy put the little plastic container down on a tree stump. Then she pulled out another item from her pockets and held it up. Most people couldn't see what it was, but as she twisted her hand back and force, they could see the effect of it—it was a prism, and the colors it produced arched like a rainbow over the group.

"I bought this in a New Age store in Melbourne. I know what I'm going to say is all Biblical and I'm not a religious person—maybe none of you are, or maybe some of you are mad at God for allowing this to happen—but it seems like when you're in a situation like this, you need to think about things that are bigger than you, whether you call it God or the universe or spirits, or whatever.

"So, in the Bible, after God saved Noah from the flood, he made a rainbow, and that symbolized that he would never destroy the world again the way he did with the flood. To me this is like our situation. It was like our world was destroyed when we crashed here, but the rainbow that's created with this prism means that we will get through whatever is coming and that there won't be any more tragedies like the crash."

Maddy paused and put her hand to her mouth, realizing just how much she was talking. People were quiet but she suspected maybe they were falling asleep. It was easier to spy on people when you didn't have to pay too much attention to what you, yourself were doing. She knew it was time to finish up. She nodded at an older woman sitting toward the back of the gathering. It was Rose, the black woman who wasn't convinced that her husband was dead. She stood up and started to sing in a clear, emotional alto:

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found; Was blind, but now I see . . ."

Maddy looked around and saw that people were crying. I did good, she thought. Kate gave her a look that said, When did you have time to arrange that? and she just shrugged.


	11. Part 11

("Next week on _Lost_")

"I could hear the singing all way over here, munchkin," Sawyer said. "It was beautiful. I was really touched."

"I wouldn't have thunk," Maddy said.

"Yeah, you can take the boy out of the Southern Baptist church, but you can never take the Southern Baptist out of the boy."

"Kate defended you, you know," Maddy said. "I thought she was going to make some kind of general argument how we deserved to be left alone, but she defended you specifically. I think it's pretty obvious that she's coming around."

"Then let her tell me that herself," Sawyer said and crossed his arms over his chest. "A guy's only going to go after a woman just so much until he starts making a fool out of himself. No woman's going to make a fool of me."

"I'll see what I can arrange."

"Hoo-wee, you sure wear a lot of hats, munchkin. Now I should be calling you Hello, Dolly, the matchmaker."

"I told you I was pretty much worthless. I have to find some way to occupy my time."

"Don't you start on that again."

"I'm sorry. I just—when you and Kate get together, you'll still hang out with me, right?"

"I wouldn't give you up for anything. I'd miss these chats. You think so much that it makes me feel like I don't have to."

Maddy laughed. "I have another book. Maybe we could take turns reading it to each other. It's called _Of Human Bondage_."

Sawyer raised an eyebrow. "Sounds kinky."

Maddy just laughed.

Michael stood in front of the crowd. "Okay, we need to first draw up plans for what sorts of buildings we're going to want. I need to know how many people want their own shelters and how many people are going to want to share. I'm not going to guarantee that everyone's going to get what they want—shared houses are safer and easier to build—but I'm going to try. I want to do this by secret ballot but I don't want to waste any paper. Everyone, close your eyes and raise your hands to vote for what you want: Everyone who wants to share a space with one or more people, raise your hands." Michael counted. "Everyone who wants their own space, raise you hands." He counted again. He was glad to see that most people wanted to share.

Michael pulled Jack over to the side out of earshot of everyone else. "Here are the names of people who are going to try to insist on their own private shelters. You might want to talk to them about why they don't want to share. These anti-social types may be people you'll want to keep a particular eye on."

Jack tried to catch a glimpse of the people Michael had named. They didn't look like they were dangerous. In the end, he'd liked Kate's speech about everyone had to pull together and not try to treat each other as the enemy. And here Michael was, doing almost just that. Maybe it natural, Jack mused, maybe people couldn't help themselves.

"Don't do anything without telling me," Jack said and tried to keep his voice neutral, but he was worried.


End file.
